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This happens about 19 out of 20 times that I enter a casino. I merely break even. I have a system and for a lot of reasons it works best here in the great state Oklahoma.

Actual gamblers who are reading this article can probably stop right now. This is gambling for non-gamblers. Rarely, you walk out with nothing.

But the key is you stop by a casino, pick up your free money, and quickly convert it into something useful, like gasoline. My father was a gambler. In that dark and mixed up period of wandering after seeing combat in World War Two, he somehow ended up in Reno, Nevada dealing craps.

Instead, we would play blackjack. My little brother would gamble away his money, but I usually found ways to walk away from the table with something left.

Some people -social workers, mostly- thought it was a bad idea to teach elementary school kids how to play blackjack for actual cash while telling hair-raising war stories in a liquored up state.

But years later, when I left home and went to college and the sirens of voice tried to call my name, I found those blackjack games with my inebriated father had inoculated me like a vaccine.

I love casinos, which always feature free soft drinks and cheap buffets. In fact, I love Las Vegas. But I love my money too much to gamble it away.

My father taught me about gambling systems. He said there were ways to fool the house. Systems were out there. Flash forward to Gardez, Afghanistan, in the fall of So I would have my fellow soldiers teach me about anything they knew well.

One soldier taught me how to make bootleg whiskey, all the way from gathering apples in the orchard to making a toast.

Another soldier said he had a system to win at roulette. This soldier could, so he claimed, make thousands of dollars a night. You just kept winning small for hours without end.

But first I obtained a toy roulette wheel and spent hours playing by myself, seeing if the system worked. Oh, my word, the system worked. So then I spent hours watching an actual wheel at a casino in Kansas City and some other locations, tracking the results.

And I became convinced the system did not work. The wheels at the casinos behave differently than the toy wheels. The roulette Martingaling side bet system would draw you in with temporary winnings then make a loser out of you.

Just like the usual course of gambling. Cheap at twice the price, I figure. But I knew successful systems were out there.

My own father had told me so. And sometimes the cards came with a little bit of free cash credit. How amazingly similar to those old blackjack games with my father, I thought.

The point for me had never been winning. In other states, casinos are not so common. The key is to walk out with as much of the small incentive as possible, and never gamble with your own money.

To pull this off, I find a machine that allows me to play 20 lines at a time at a penny a line. I spread that money a mile wide and an inch deep, and dribble it out 20 cents at a time.

The key is not to win big. The key is to keep breaking even until you have gambled all the money, and then you can keep what is won or left over fair and square.

You have to play it. Once I gamble the free money, I stop. So if I can walk out of a dozen casinos in a row richer instead of poorer, what does that make me?

I say it makes me a professional gambler. The small psychological boost of winning repeatedly with my system is great. Best to keep track of that dollar and walk away before you gamble it.

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